Best Marriage Success Strategy Ever!!!

A & M on the way to the wedding altar. image by Christina @contentbychristina

When couples start dating they usually begin with the fun, lighted hearted stuff. What are your favorite foods, music, movies etc? When A & M began their romance, they spent hours, literally hours, on their very first dates exploring all the possible things that might derail them if they were to fall in love and want to go all the way on the marriage journey. They led with honesty, authenticity, vulnerability, and looking at the possible obstacles square in the face. This was not just a one-way conversation but something they instantly and mutually wanted to do. They left those first dates knowing absolutely nothing about each other’s preferences and just kept digging deeper for what might lie within their psyches or what might come at them from the world that might keep them from suceeding at the game of life and love.

While this might seem like the fastest way to kill the attraction hormones that usually signal that a love match has occured, for A & M it lit a fire of awe and tender recognition that they may have just found their soulmate.

A remembers one of those early dates, when M was looking at her intently, so intently that she wondered what he was thinking. Suddenly it occured to her that he had recently shared with her that his lifelong dream was to have a life partner and home of his own. She realized that she was that person for him and he was that person for her.

What an incredible moment to realize that your dream was coming true right before your eyes, with and for each other.

It did not take long for A & M to build a home and life together. The second part of their marriage success wisdom quickly came alive. Family and Friends are the most important part of their lives and they recognized that this beautiful treasure called their love relationship was not just a gift to them but was meant to be shared. Their different social circles and families who lived far apart, regularly gathered in their new home, sharing meals, laughter, board games and basking in the glow of A & M’s love. They put all their gratitude into serving and supporting their Loved Ones and knew that paying forward their love was an even greater path to fulfillment than just focusing on each other.

When it came time for their wedding ceremony, they both recognized that while their vows would be a beautiful expression of their love and their ceremony would be a way for their Loved Ones to get to know their love story even better, they had already created what would be their marriage foundation. They both understood that they had an unshakable confidence in their relationship that they knew would stand the test of time. In the four years that they had been together, A & M had faced choice and decision points, first moving in together, then buying a home together, then facing work layoffs and other challenges. What was so clear is that they had chosen each other as partners for life and that was a resolute decision and choice. They had looked under every rock and faced their fears of what might disrupt them and discovered that with this fundamental and mutual knowing that they were in this partnership for life, they simply needed to hold hands and hearts and dive full force into each new step and chapter along the way.

So what does your wedding look and feel like when you have prepared the way that A & M did? It is a sea of ease, calm, joy and riotous celebration. Their families and friends were a packed room of support for them, tears of happiness flowing during their ceremony. Their vendors were relaxed and sharing in the glow of their confidence and felt honored to be part of this true love fest. When the party amped up after their “I Do’s” it was a celebration that even their DJ, photographer and everyone present never wanted to end.

So if you want to know how to succeed at marriage, look for the one who wants what you want, a fully investigated exploration of what will make us lifelong partners, what might get in our way. Then dare to dive into life completely and fully, knowing you have found the person who equals your commitment and shares your confidence that you will figure it out as you go. AND..then share all your joy, happiness and gratitude with those you love. Keep that going for several decades and you have figured out the secret to truly living the Happily Ever After love story.

Deep bow of respect A & M and may you continue to be as blessed as we are to be part of your circle of love.