Celebration of Life

I have just arrived home after having the wonderful honor of facilitating an incredible Celebration of Life for a man I did not know.  Throughout the past month of preparation, his family shared so generously with me about their beloved husband, brother, father, uncle and friend that by the time our celebration began, I too felt that I knew Paul.  By the end of our gathering, I felt that I had made a new friend who had just recently gained his wings.

Paul seemed to have what I can only call a blessed life. He was of Italian heritage and very proud of it.  He had one of those great big Italian hearts and seemed to be here to enjoy life to the fullest. Born and raised right here in the PNW, he spent his life living, growing up, loving, working and serving in his own community.  He was the type of person who had kindness to share with everyone.  A simple, quiet presence that held a light that was warm and available to anyone and everyone.  Paul loved people, music, sports, fishing and his family and friends with all his heart.  His loss was sudden and unexpected and left a huge hole in the hearts of those who loved him and a tall order to try to find ways to say our farewells and celebrate his life. 

The family created a beautiful setting with flowers and candles and smiling pictures of Paul and them over the decades and of course his proud Italian flag and even biscotti treats for each and every guest.  Eighty people showed up for his memorial and touching tributes were sent by colleagues and coworkers who had worked alongside Paul in his thirty eight year career.  Even though he had been retired for ten years when he passed suddenly this past fall, his work family wanted his wife and children to know what an incredible support and presence he had been to them all those years.

We listened to a beautiful musical prelude of Autumn Leaves to help us settle into our memorial ceremony. Paul’ son Jeremy read a touching poem, Song of the River, reminding us of the eternal journey of the soul that flows into life and beyond life forever. 

We took a walk down memory lane in a eulogy co created by his family and me. We made room for the heavy elephant of grief in the room, invited tears to fall and  passed around the kleenex boxes in a web of support for each other. I encouraged everyone to trust their grief and to allow it to help them feel the depth of their connection to Paul and to perhaps even discover that it would guide them over a bridge to a sense that in some way he was still there, honoring the bond of love that can never be lost. I also encouraged us all to be attentive to the ways that our Love Ones let their presence known, even in the midst of our missing them.  I suggested that we look to nature for that reassurance and not to be surprised if the sudden appearance of a bird or a feather or even a rainbow might feel like a wink from Paul, or one of his favorite songs coming on the radio or one of his favorite sports teams finally returning to Seattle.  Paul had engaged in a stalwart protest of the Sonics being transferred away from Seattle by vowing to never watch another NBA game as his gesture of loyalty.  There were many nods and raised hands of alignment in the room and I smiled to think how happy Paul would be if his protest eventually brought the team back to town. Now that would be a wink from heaven for sure!!!

Then we shifted gears and watched a delightful slideshow created by Paul’s niece Bethany, her husband George and their friend Beth Ann. Such a fun and creative love offering that of course began with Dean Martin singing Evening in Roma and then continued with beaming pictures of Paul’s magnetic smile and such happy times with family, friends, colleagues, favorite cars and of course fishing all all accompanied by some of Paul’s favorite rock and roll tunes.  

Something quite amazing happened just this past summer that turned out to be Paul’s farewell to his family.  They had a long tradition of going on road trips and spent a wonderful time on the Oregon coast, playing and laughing together, Parents, grown boys and two grandsons, that Paul adored.   Little did anyone know that fate would come for Paul soon after that trip and in a sudden moment he was gone.   It was almost like he knew what was to come and life once more offered up the blessing of precious family time and the creation of beautiful memories before he took his exit bow.

So here we were today, attempting to adjust to his absence and yet filling the room with laughter and tears and so many fun stories and escapades shared by Paul’s best friend, buddies and brother, from their younger days and through the decades.  

As our celebration came to a close, Paul’s eldest son Brett led us in a touching toast and we had cake in honor of this Italian son who absolutely loved pastries.  Everyone received a biscotti to take home, another favorite from Paul’s homeland.  

As the afternoon progressed and we were getting further along in the celebration, I noticed that the rain had stopped and the skies were starting to lighten. I am never surprised to see Nature seeming to respond to the open heartedness of these blessing ceremonies yet it excites me every time.  And especially this day as I had a little secret planned for Paul’s wife. 

Jill is one of the most gentle, soft spoken ladies I have ever met.  In our first meeting she mentioned that she would like to have Iz’s Somewhere Over the Rainbow played during the memorial.  There was not a huge resonance in the family so it didn’t make it into the final plan.  The day before our celebration, Jill called to say that she had asked our pianist if he would include Rainbow in his instrumental offerings during the day.  I suggested that perhaps it could be our final offering and we could listen after the toast to complete our day.  As I was preparing on Sunday, I had the idea that maybe we could actually have a recording of IZ singing Rainbow as it would be so much more poignant and a wish fulfilled for Jill.  Sure enough our amazing helper Beth Ann was able to cue up the song and after the toast I introduced it as a gift to Jill and a farewell blessing to Paul and all of us.   

As I had imagined, it hit a chord in pretty much everyone’s hearts and the tissue boxes were in full action for those few precious moments.  

Goodbye hugs were offered, coats were collected and cleaning up began.  I noticed that someone was at the window taking pictures which looked out over the water and the ferry dock next door. I walked over and sure enough!!! there was our rainbow!!! Ever so faint but there none the less. 

My heart filled with joy and delight.  A cluster of people gathered and the expressions of awe and wonder at the magic of love and nature filled our little window gazing group. 

“Did you know this was going to happen Grace?”  I smiled and said, of course not but it is my experience that these exalted moments bring through the magic more often than not.

“You sure have found your calling Grace.  This is obviously your calling.”

All afternoon I talked about Paul’s blessed life.  It seems that he was offered every gift that life has to give and he relished in each and every one of them and in return shared his joy and gratitude with everyone he met.

Today I felt that the gift that I have been given, a powerful connection with spirit, which was brought alive through the sudden death of my brother when I was a teenager, was being shared as my expression of joy and gratitude.  I have lived on the road less traveled my whole life with God and Spirit as my family and my companions.  In these moments when I get to share that communion with others, my heart and soul are fulfilled in a way that is beyond what I can express.  

I am so honored and grateful to be given these opportunities to be a spiritual guide, a friend and a bringer of hope and inspiration to people when their hearts are hurting and their souls are searching for solace.  The simple act of inviting everyone to open their hearts, to honor their tears, to allow for the mystery of life and death to touch us deeply, almost always invokes a response from nature for me.   And sure enough today, with eighty of us all tuned in together, our magical response came as well.  Not only in the very faint rainbow over the ferry but another brilliant one shining right outside the Center where we were gathered.  As I drove home, I realized that the rainbow was right at the top of the hill in our town where Paul and Jill had lived their beautiful life together for so many many years.  Jill was on her way home to that abode and I felt that Paul was there waiting for her.  

Thank you for trusting me, Paul’s family.  And thank you for being with us today Paul.  I have no doubt that you are just over the rainbow, smiling that magical smile of yours and continuing to bless our world with your great big presence.  

Blessings, 

Officiant Grace

I have just arrived home after having the wonderful honor of facilitating an incredible Celebration of Life for a man I did not know.  Throughout the past month of preparation, his family shared so generously with me about their beloved husband, brother, father, uncle and friend that by the time our celebration began, I too felt that I knew Paul.  By the end of our gathering, I felt that I had made a new friend who had just recently gained his wings.

Paul seemed to have what I can only call a blessed life. He was of Italian heritage and very proud of it.  He had one of those great big Italian hearts and seemed to be here to enjoy life to the fullest. Born and raised right here in the PNW, he spent his life living, growing up, loving, working and serving in his own community.  He was the type of person who had kindness to share with everyone.  A simple, quiet presence that held a light that was warm and available to anyone and everyone.  Paul loved people, music, sports, fishing and his family and friends with all his heart.  His loss was sudden and unexpected and left a huge hole in the hearts of those who loved him and a tall order to try to find ways to say our farewells and celebrate his life. 

The family created a beautiful setting with flowers and candles and smiling pictures of Paul and them over the decades and of course his proud Italian flag and even biscotti treats for each and every guest.  Eighty people showed up for his memorial and touching tributes were sent by colleagues and coworkers who had worked alongside Paul in his thirty eight year career.  Even though he had been retired for ten years when he passed suddenly this past fall, his work family wanted his wife and children to know what an incredible support and presence he had been to them all those years.

We listened to a beautiful musical prelude of Autumn Leaves to help us settle into our memorial ceremony. Paul’ son Jeremy read a touching poem, Song of the River, reminding us of the eternal journey of the soul that flows into life and beyond life forever. 

 We took a walk down memory lane in a eulogy co created by his family and me. We made room for the heavy elephant of grief in the room, invited tears to fall and  passed around the kleenex boxes in a web of support for each other. I encouraged everyone to trust their grief and to allow it to help them feel the depth of their connection to Paul and to perhaps even discover that it would guide them over a bridge to a sense that in some way he was still there, honoring the bond of love that can never be lost. I also encouraged us all to be attentive to the ways that our Love Ones let their presence known, even in the midst of our missing them.  I suggested that we look to nature for that reassurance and not to be surprised if the sudden appearance of a bird or a feather or even a rainbow might feel like a wink from Paul, or one of his favorite songs coming on the radio or one of his favorite sports teams finally returning to Seattle.  Paul had engaged in a stalwart protest of the Sonics being transferred away from Seattle by vowing to never watch another NBA game as his gesture of loyalty.  There were many nods and raised hands of alignment in the room and I smiled to think how happy Paul would be if his protest eventually brought the team back to town. Now that would be a wink from heaven for sure!!!

 Then we shifted gears and watched a delightful slideshow created by Paul’s niece Bethany, her husband George and their friend Beth Ann. Such a fun and creative love offering that of course began with Dean Martin singing Evening in Roma and then continued with beaming pictures of Paul’s magnetic smile and such happy times with family, friends, colleagues, favorite cars and of course fishing all all accompanied by some of Paul’s favorite rock and roll tunes.  

Something quite amazing happened just this past summer that turned out to be Paul’s farewell to his family.  They had a long tradition of going on road trips and spent a wonderful time on the Oregon coast, playing and laughing together, Parents, grown boys and two grandsons, that Paul adored.   Little did anyone know that fate would come for Paul soon after that trip and in a sudden moment he was gone.   It was almost like he knew what was to come and life once more offered up the blessing of precious family time and the creation of beautiful memories before he took his exit bow.

So here we were today, attempting to adjust to his absence and yet filling the room with laughter and tears and so many fun stories and escapades shared by Paul’s best friend, buddies and brother, from their younger days and through the decades.  

As our celebration came to a close, Paul’s eldest son Brett led us in a touching toast and we had cake in honor of this Italian son who absolutely loved pastries.  Everyone received a biscotti to take home, another favorite from Paul’s homeland.  

As the afternoon progressed and we were getting further along in the celebration, I noticed that the rain had stopped and the skies were starting to lighten. I am never surprised to see Nature seeming to respond to the open heartedness of these blessing ceremonies yet it excites me every time.  And especially this day as I had a little secret planned for Paul’s wife. 

 Jill is one of the most gentle, soft spoken ladies I have ever met.  In our first meeting she mentioned that she would like to have Iz’s Somewhere Over the Rainbow played during the memorial.  There was not a huge resonance in the family so it didn’t make it into the final plan.  The day before our celebration, Jill called to say that she had asked our pianist if he would include Rainbow in his instrumental offerings during the day.  I suggested that perhaps it could be our final offering and we could listen after the toast to complete our day.  As I was preparing on Sunday, I had the idea that maybe we could actually have a recording of IZ singing Rainbow as it would be so much more poignant and a wish fulfilled for Jill.  Sure enough our amazing helper Beth Ann was able to cue up the song and after the toast I introduced it as a gift to Jill and a farewell blessing to Paul and all of us.   

As I had imagined, it hit a chord in pretty much everyone’s hearts and the kleenex boxes were in full action for those few precious moments.  

Goodbye hugs were offered, coats were collected and cleaning up began.  I noticed that someone was at the window taking pictures which looked out over the water and the ferry dock next door. I walked over and sure enough!!! there was our rainbow!!! Ever so faint but there none the less. 

My heart filled with joy and delight.  A cluster of people gathered and the expressions of awe and wonder at the magic of love and nature filled our little window gazing group. 

“Did you know this was going to happen Grace?”  I smiled and said, of course not but it is my experience that these exalted moments bring through the magic more often than not.

“You sure have found your calling Grace.  This is obviously your calling.”

All afternoon I talked about Paul’s blessed life.  It seems that he was offered every gift that life has to give and he relished in each and every one of them and in return shared his joy and gratitude with everyone he met.

Today I felt that the gift that I have been given, a powerful connection with spirit, which was brought alive through the sudden death of my brother when I was a teenager, was being shared as my expression of joy and gratitude.  I have lived on the road less traveled my whole life with God and Spirit as my family and my companions.  In these moments when I get to share that communion with others, my heart and soul are fulfilled in a way that is beyond what I can express.  

I am so honored and grateful to be given these opportunities to be a spiritual guide, a friend and a bringer of hope and inspiration to people when their hearts are hurting and their souls are searching for solace.  The simple act of inviting everyone to open their hearts, to honor their tears, to allow for the mystery of life and death to touch us deeply, almost always invokes a response from nature for me.   And sure enough today, with eighty of us all tuned in together, our magical response came as well.  Not only in the very faint rainbow over the ferry but another brilliant one shining right outside the Center where we were gathered.  As I drove home, I realized that the rainbow was right at the top of the hill in our town where Paul and Jill had lived their beautiful life together for so many many years.  Jill was on her way home to that abode and I felt that Paul was there waiting for her.  

Thank you for trusting me, Paul’s family.  And thank you for being with us today Paul.  I have no doubt that you are just over the rainbow, smiling that magical smile of yours and continuing to bless our world with your great big presence.  

Blessings, 

Officiant Grace